We are a Christmas/Hanukah family. I was raised Catholic, my wife Jewish. We raised our kids in our busy home with both traditions observed. We have quite a few menorahs, a dreidel, and Gelt (chocolate coins wrapped in gold). We also have a giant Christmas tree covered in colorful lights and a lifetime of Christmas ornaments. Our Christnukah house would make a great Hallmark movie.
This year my wife not so subtly announced to me that she wanted “only one present for the holidays”. This present turned out to be a pricey purse sold in a She-She shop in SoHo. The good woman that she is to me, she even texted me the name, size and color of the purse along with the store phone number. So I found a card with enough credit on it and purchased the purse and got it here for the first night of Chanukah. I also refinanced the house and bought the theater tickets that I was instructed to buy for our sons and their significant others.
On the first night of Chanukah after the candles were lit and the latkes made, we exchanged our gifts. I don’t care how old I get but give me a beautifully wrapped gift and I turn into a little kid again. When my wife opened my gift for her, she feigned such surprise and excitement that I almost forgot she picked it out!
She then handed me a small box, neatly wrapped in blue with Menorah’s on it. I shook the box, heard some rattling around that got me more excited. My imagination ran wild on what could it be. Slowly I opened the box and with everybody watching I pulled out three cans of sardines! I guess I couldn’t hide the confused look on my face, so my wife explained now these were not just any sardines, but special sardines! My sons also seemed a little stunned by the gift. Finally Drew said, “wow Dad if you like that gift, you are really going like what we got you” as he handed me another blue box. Still a bit dazed from my first gift, I opened their present to find three cans of anchovies! Not just any anchovies I was informed. Yep, special anchovies! The entire room went quiet for a moment and we all started bursting out laughing! “When did Dad turn into a seal?”, my son said gasping for air. Apparently this was not a family conspiracy to raise my Omega-3 levels with these pescatarian treats, because nobody knew what the other had gotten me. As quickly as only their generation can do, they started texted each other with seal GIF’s keeping the laughter flowing for the rest of the beautiful night. And yes, for Christmas I did go crazy and bought some very special cans of tuna for them all!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY CHANUKAH! HAPPY KWANZA, & HEALTHY AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!
Keith J. Ahlers
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